This is very well done however there are a couple parts which need to be corrected, i will bullit point to make clear: -Whilst the child is singing the nursery rhyme there needs to be a close up of their infected eyes
- The sex of the child reffering to 'her' needs to be changed to 'him' as its a little boy not girl.
- After the zombie child sings the nursery rhyme, its early in the evening so the sun has just set, its dark, one teen walks up to the mysterious child and the child is facing with their back towards her. She asks the child if they are alright and the child attackes her (bites or jumps on her)
- Cuts to haloween night(decorations everywhere)this is when the remaining 3 teens head to their friends haloween party, (either you have them notice somethings wrong like people dont look normal or there are people lying in streets, or they notice nothing and just head to the party)
- When they get to the party the original teen that gets bitten opens the door and he has blood running down his mouth and looks infected. He has bitten everyone in the party, some are infected and some are dead. (shot of party)
- The 3 teens at the door scream, as the zombie at the door grabbs one of them, they all get away.
- When they run away they discuss whats happened and what they do next then it fades out.
I agree that this is a very impressive first script, and i agree with all the changes that Ameerah has pointed out. But i also want to suggest a few changes:
- before the child attacks the teenager there needs to be a close up of the child's face showing blood dripping from its mouth, and the true effect of the zombie effect on the child.
-i think we need to have some establishing shots to show the true extent of the pandemic. with zombie bodies on the ground or running after survivors
- we need to make it clear that the 3 girls are the only survivors in their town
i think it would be a good idea if we all sat down together and discussed this script in further details, were we are all able to contribute our ideas into the film. by doing this we can come up with new ideas and collaborate our ideas together?
This is very well done however there are a couple parts which need to be corrected, i will bullit point to make clear:
ReplyDelete-Whilst the child is singing the nursery rhyme there needs to be a close up of their infected eyes
- The sex of the child reffering to 'her' needs to be changed to 'him' as its a little boy not girl.
- After the zombie child sings the nursery rhyme, its early in the evening so the sun has just set, its dark, one teen walks up to the mysterious child and the child is facing with their back towards her. She asks the child if they are alright and the child attackes her (bites or jumps on her)
- Cuts to haloween night(decorations everywhere)this is when the remaining 3 teens head to their friends haloween party, (either you have them notice somethings wrong like people dont look normal or there are people lying in streets, or they notice nothing and just head to the party)
- When they get to the party the original teen that gets bitten opens the door and he has blood running down his mouth and looks infected. He has bitten everyone in the party, some are infected and some are dead. (shot of party)
- The 3 teens at the door scream, as the zombie at the door grabbs one of them, they all get away.
- When they run away they discuss whats happened and what they do next then it fades out.
I agree that this is a very impressive first script, and i agree with all the changes that Ameerah has pointed out. But i also want to suggest a few changes:
ReplyDelete- before the child attacks the teenager there needs to be a close up of the child's face showing blood dripping from its mouth, and the true effect of the zombie effect on the child.
-i think we need to have some establishing shots to show the true extent of the pandemic. with zombie bodies on the ground or running after survivors
- we need to make it clear that the 3 girls are the only survivors in their town
i think it would be a good idea if we all sat down together and discussed this script in further details, were we are all able to contribute our ideas into the film. by doing this we can come up with new ideas and collaborate our ideas together?